dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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