No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
