Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize