i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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