my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
