you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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