If that was your dad, he is hot
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
