Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
