I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
