I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
