with your own penis?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
