One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
