i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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