Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
