at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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