Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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