You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
