So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Everything about him screamed your future.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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