I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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