Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
