Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think a kid would responsible me up
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize