I am spending my child support on dildos
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
