Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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