I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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