New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
