Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
