The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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