You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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