I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
