they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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