I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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