I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
