WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
