yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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