at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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