worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
