tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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