Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize