remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
