what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
