It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
