And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
