I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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