RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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