New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
