What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
