I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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