i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
