white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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