Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize