pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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