he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
