it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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