I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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