You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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