u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i dont even know how to be here
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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