M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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